DID YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME SEEM NORMAL TO EVERYONE BUT YOU?
In childhood you sensed that something was just not right. On the outside your family looked fine but inside your home you realized they were not. You may wonder if emotional or physical neglect or emotional, physical or sexual abuse in the past has affected your ability to enjoy your life now. You realize you have no idea what “normal” relationship patterns and behaviour look like now.
You may disconnect from others or put another’s happiness ahead of your own. Much of the time relationships are a struggle and you may feel terribly misunderstood by your friends, family, spouse or co-workers.
“Trigger issues do not have to be terror in the here and now. The trauma from the past is past. The trigger today does not have to devastate me. Cheryl showed me tools to employ to reduce anxiety and adrenaline. I am no longer as “needy” for others because I know I can take care of and protect myself.” – Ruth, Survivor of childhood sexual abuse
HOW DO I KNOW IF PAST ABUSE OR NEGLECT AFFECTS ME TODAY?
As adults we may experience many symptoms of childhood abuse or neglect. Here are some examples of the ways that those experiences flow forward and impact our lives today:
- Difficulty forming of keeping healthy relationships
- Continuing resentment toward your parents or efforts to gain acceptance from your parents or other authority figures
- Being extremely afraid of rejection or abandonment
- Being raised in a home where a parent was absent emotionally or physically due to alcohol or drug abuse
- Anger issues, Passive issues, Difficulty with boundaries
- Use of substances or activities to numb out emotional pain
- Difficulty identifying or managing emotions
- Being overly responsible or incredibly irresponsible
- Feeling like you are one person on the outside and someone else on the inside
- Low self-esteem or shame
- Not knowing what’s “normal”
- Being raised in a family where a parent lived with chronic physical or mental illness
CAN I TRIUMPH IN SPITE OF MY PAST?
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott
Increasingly scientific research confirms that the internal wiring of our thinking patterns and worldview gets connected during our childhood relationships and experiences. Fortunately, the research indicates that we are able to rewire our brain too. This is great news.
We will work together to look at the ways difficult childhood experiences are still negatively effecting your life. This isn’t about recovering memories as much as it’s about working with what you know. Are there ways of thinking that helped you survive but are no longer helpful? Do you see yourself through the critical voices of the past despite your successes of today?
Together we will help you build a new way of looking at yourself and your relationships that honours your heritage without carrying the burden of the past. It is a significant step to break the destructive pattern in a family, and create a new normal based on wellness. It’s the best gift you can give yourself or your children. You can start a new chapter living the kind of life you secretly had hoped for when you were a child!
Let’s work together to drop the old baggage and pick up the new life you desire.
Contact me to book your free 15 minute consultation and first appointment